What Gus Hates

Gus is afraid of the vacuum cleaner. And the food processor. And the copy machine. And his helicopter toy. Basically, anything that makes a mechanical whirring noise.

He hates the vacuum so much that he cries when I open the closet where it lives. He cries for the 15 minutes I am using it (I vacuum the rug and two sofas in my living room; everything else I just mop or wash in the washing machine. I wear him in the ring sling the whole time because he is completely hysterical.) He cries as I put it away, and for 20 minutes after it's all over.

Let me tell you, this does not encourage me to keep my rug clean.

Let's make a chart, shall we?

Ah, that Thing You Can't Reach. So tantalizing.

We tried petting the vacuum cleaner, and playing with the pieces, and making funny noises. He just wouldn't budge.

At least he likes the dust mop.

Love,

Katie

Lenten fast

I've decided to give up sugar this year for Lent. Well, that's not exactly how it went. It went something like this:

"What should I give up for Lent?"

Sugar. Duh.

"What else could I give up for Lent? What could be a real sacrifice that would bring me closer to God and make me a better person? Television? Facebook? Ironing?"

...

"So...Sugar, huh?"

Yup.

"Dammit."

I've given up "desserts" before - a nebulous description that pretty much meant I could have candy or treats during the day, but not as the finisher to a meal. (I wasn't trying to give myself a loophole, but to break a very specific habit I developed in the dining hall of always expecting something sweet to finish a meal.) But "sugar" can be nebulous as well, and I want to be smart about it, so here are my personal (not prescriptive) guidelines:

1. No obviously sugary things (cake, ice cream, etc.). Duh.
2. No artificial sweeteners (excepting diet soda - yes, I know, aspartame will kill me blah blah)
3. No "fake-out" desserts where they just replace the sugar with banana and sweet potato. These will just make me want real brownies more, both during the fast and after it's over.
4. Honey and Date Syrup can be used sparingly (to sweeten coffee, etc.) but no baklava, etc. (see #1) Anything I cook that I usually add sugar to (cornbread, spaghetti sauce, etc) must be cooked with only half the usual amount, if I can't eliminate it entirely (optimal).
5. Sugar is in everything, and I don't have the time or inclination to make everything from scratch. If I am shopping for bread and there is one bread with sugar and one without, I must choose the one without. Even if it costs more. If there are no options without sugar, I can choose to buy it or do without.
6. When I am a guest, non-sugary foods pass without close examination of packaging. Desserts are still off-limits, though.
7. My mind is already reeling with all the "allowed" sweet things - pitted dates dipped in unsweetened chocolate, for example. I can only have one of these treats a day. Even though they're technically legal, eating seven of them will not help curb my sugar addiction.

I'm posting a few days early, so hopefully my loyal readership can help me point out any additional loopholes in the rules. I don't like to get legalistic about it, but I like to figure out the loopholes in advance so that I can make decisions based on what I actually think is right, not what I feel like doing at the time. I know myself, and myself won't last a day without trying to bend the rules a little.

Jonny is being really nice and volunteered not to eat any sugar in front of me for the whole season. I'm helping him with his fast a little too, in return. I'm not sure I could do it if he chowed down on ice cream every night!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some sugar cookies to frost...

Love,

Katie

Soundtrack to 2012

A little late, but here we go:*

1. Haven't Met You Yet - Michael Buble
2. A Thousand Years - Christina Perri
3. I Won't Give Up - Jason Mraz
4. Raisins - Barenaked Ladies
5. Man in the Mirror - Michael Jackson
6. Somebody that I Used to Know - Gotye
7. I Need Thee Every Hour - Jars of Clay (originally by Annie S. Hawks and Robert Lowry)
8. Call Me Maybe - Carly Rae Jepsen
9. Many the Miles - Sara Bareilles
10. Gangnam Style - Psy
11. Everybody Came - Ambrosia Parsley
12. Hold Me Now - Jennifer Knapp
13. Les Miserables** 
14. Merry Go 'Round - Kacey Musgraves
15. Carry On - Fun.
16. I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day - Johnny Marks and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
17. Home - Phillip Phillips

*Disclaimer: Not all of these songs are new. Not all of these songs are Good. Some of them spoke to my soul at certain times. Others...well, for the rest of my life when I hear "Call Me Maybe" I will think of the summer of 2012 - for better or for worse, that's just how it is.

**Yes. The whole thing. It was stuck in my head for two weeks after we saw it at the Fox...and THEN the commercials started playing on television and it started all over again.

Unseasonably Warm

We have bizarro weather today - 65 degrees and cloudy, at the end of January. I think my subconscious is confused. It knows what to do with a gorgeous day in the middle of winter, when it is warm and sunny and feels like spring, because we have those occasionally. Those days make you drop everything and rejoice in the glorious gift of warmth and sunshine in the middle of the winter wasteland. You go to the park, you have spontaneous parties, you barbecue. 

But today is warm but gloomy. The windows are open and the fresh air smells like spring, but the landscape still looks like something out of an Edgar Allen Poe story. So many levels of dissonance just freaks me out, I guess. So I have a bizarro mood to match the weather.

Manifestations of said mood:

1. I'm writing a blog post. 

2. When I did laundry, I folded the shirts in a different way. (We housewives have to live dangerously.)

3. I had half a can of smoked oysters on crackers for lunch. And actually enjoyed them. (I haven't eaten oysters since high school. Also, the cats went totally nuts over the smell.)

I keep oscillating between fervent but conflicting desires.

Do I have some kind of grand adventure or outing, or do I stay at home and do the laundry and enjoy the peace?

Do I make dinner or bake cookies? And if I bake cookies, who will eat them?

Do I invite everyone I know over for cookie-eating, or do I just want one grown-up to keep me company (forget the cookies), because a crowd might be just too much stimulation. Or would it? And even if I do try to secure either of these options, will I actually be able to? Will failure to secure company just make me feel even more unsteady?

Do I put on makeup and go to the mall, or change back into my pajamas and lie on the floor as much as possible?*

I feel as if I should do something out of the ordinary, because the weather is doing so. But unseasonably warm days make me want to do different things than cloudy days, and they so very rarely coincide. 

Sounds like the baby has woken up, and the dryer has stopped, too. I guess if there are any adventures in store for me this afternoon, they will have to wait. :)

Love, 

Katie

*Have you ever gotten much better service in a mall, especially in a makeup or beauty store, if you are wearing makeup? I think the Sephora ladies peg me when I walk in as a non-buyer and a free sample grubber, and intentionally ignore me. But if I'm going to a store that sells makeup and repeatedly asks you if you'd like to try a product, isn't it BETTER if I'm not wearing any to start?