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Laundry Baby: A Musical Interlude

Laundry Baby

A parody of "Broadway Baby"
(If you're not up on your show tunes, you can find the music here)

I'm just a Laaaundry Baaaaby...

Workin' on two tired feet

Folding towels and fitted sheets

So they will be cleeeeean...

Laundry Baby

Sorting whites from greens and blues

Soaking and pretreating poos

To get them all clean.

Hey!

I'd love to lay 

Beside the bay

Oh, dressed all in white!

Indeed.

Somebody peed.

And now I need

To get my whites bright!

Someday maybe

Children will be old and grown.

Jon and I will be alone...

But we will be clean!

Hey, Mr. Beet Juice, Sir!

And you, Grass Stain, too Sir!

I don't need a lot

Only what I got

Vinegar and Borax to get out that spot!

Someday maybe

We'll have robots do it all

But 'till then, the task must fall

To one tired mama

Washing shirts, jeans, and pajamas,

All to Get. That. Laundry. CLEEEEEEE-AAAN!

A note to Future-Katie on loving people

Sometimes you just have to love someone (the verb) and the feelings come later.

I rocked and bounced and nursed and changed diapers for about eight months before I had consistent warm fuzzy feelings when I looked at Gus-Gus. I mean, there was a flicker here and there, but it was mostly like, "I think I am going to love you someday." The default feeling was, "I worked way too hard to get you here for you to die on me now, so I guess I'd better get up and make sure that doesn't happen.

Sometimes I get all guilty and ashamed because I don't like or love someone very much. I'm pretty sure everyone (or most everyone) has favorite people, which means we also have lots of people that aren't our favorites. I spend a lot of my time thinking, "So-and-so is really nice. I should really hang out with her/do that nice thing for her. I wish I was a nicer and more friendly person. If I were Katie-with-a-heart-of-gold, I would become fast friends with people immediately, and remember everyone's names, and write thank-you notes, and make meals for people when they're sick. Alas, apparently I do not have enough room in my cold, cold, heart for another task, no matter how noble it is. Because if I did, obviously I would have done it by now, right?"

Katie-with-a-heart-of-gold, friend to all woodland creatures.

Future-Katie, are you listening? STOP DOING THIS.

Just do that nice thing that Katie-with-a-heart-of-gold would do. Even if it feels awkward. Even if you feel guilty about not doing it two weeks ago.

Because sometimes you do the nice thing, and magic happens. That person becomes one of your favorite people. They are really grateful, and you get relationship XP, and the next thing you know, you're bosom companions.

And sometimes, you do the nice thing, and it's just awkward, and you and that person remain not-exactly-friends forever.

But either way, you loved that person. Because love is a lot more about what you actually do than how you feel.

I mean, don't become a Stepford-Smiler or anything. Don't bury hurt deep inside and become bitter, acting like you love someone and despising them in your heart. But if you don't have the purest, most-honorable feelings before embarking on a noble deed, it's ok to still do the noble deed and let your feelings catch up later.

As Kara once said, "Feelings are a lot like kitty-cats. They're fun and snuggly, and good to have around. They are not bad. But you can't let them run the house. Otherwise the bills would never get paid and the house would be a mess." Kara is a wise woman.

Also, Future-Katie? Remember the pixie cut disaster. Do not repeat.

Love,

Thirty-minutes-ago-Katie
(ok, An-Hour-Ago Katie. It took thirty minutes to make that MS Paint illustration.)

Good Friday: A Disciple's Psalm

Where are you, Father? I cannot see you.
We are lost.

I am worn out from groaning; 
all night long I flood my bed with weeping 
and drench my couch with tears. (1)

What have we been building, all this time? What have we been working for?
We have left our homes, our families.
We have given our time, our prayers, our money, our families.
We saw His power, we recognized His greatness
We believed He would change the world.
And now we have nothing.
The world is the same, and we have nothing.

Our wound is incurable, 
our injury beyond healing. 
There is no one to plead our cause, 
no remedy for our sore, no healing for us. (2)

How could we have been wrong? Your power was so clearly with him.
He did marvelous, amazing things.
He changed us - changed me. We knew he could change us all.
He changed so many, but they have all left.
Some are teaching others - some have lost faith.
Our numbers are few, so few.
So much fewer than the hundreds, the thousands; we are scattered.

Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire. (3)

Where are you, Father? What are You doing? What could You possibly be doing?

Why, O Lord, do you stand far off?
Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble? (4)

Where do we go from here?
Return home - try to teach what we have learned.
Or stay, clinging to each other as those stranded at sea
desperate, afraid, and hopeless.

How the precious sons of Zion, once worth their weight in gold, 
are now considered as pots of clay, the work of a potter's hands! (5)

How could this be the end?
We listened to Your voice. We followed You.
You led us here, and now we are lost.

Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt? (6)

In everything, we have sought to listen to Your voice
and follow Your commands.
Have we done wrong?
Show me where we have faltered, and I will repent -
I will pay for it a thousand times over.
Only do not withdraw your favor from us;
let your presence remain with us.

Do not cast me away from Your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me. (7)

They have murdered Your servant, my Lord.
He was innocent and they called for his blood.

Your eyes are too pure to look on evil;
you cannot tolerate wrong.
Why then do you tolerate the treacherous?
Why are you silent while the wicked 
swallow up those more righteous than themselves? (8)

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines
though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.(9)

For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. 
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, 
so great is his unfailing love. 
For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men. (10)

I remain confident in this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord. (11)

(1) Psalm 6:6\
(2) Jeremiah 30:12-13
(3) Nehemiah 1:3
(4) Psalm 10:1
(5) Lamentations 4:2
(6) Exodus 14:11
(7) Psalm 51:11
(8) Habakkuk 1:13
(9) Habakkuk 3:17-18
(10) Lamentations 3:31-33
(11) Psalm 27:13-14

Morning Dance Party: Jesus is My Friend

We haven't been posting the videos lately (Gus got sick, we went out of town, blahbity blah) but we have been dancing every day, and Gus has really come to expect it. I just say "Morning Dance Party!" and he smiles, and he gets all excited when I turn on music any time of the day. Resolution = success.

On Wednesdays I do all my church volunteer work, so it seems appropriate to dance to this today. I try to load it all on one day to help with boundaries and all that jazz...but I've done a lot already this week, so Gus and I might go to the park after all. :)

If you haven't seen this video...well, you're welcome.

Tears for Fears

Because the world is a mess. And I just need to rule it.

Snow Day

Snow Days will be so much more fun when Gus isn't afraid of snow.

Until then, there's the morning dance party.

New Resolution - Morning Dance Party

I've decided to start a new tradition - after breakfast has a little time to settle, Gus and I dance to a song. We dance hard until I collapse on the floor exhausted and laughing. I've tried this once and can say that it's a good tradition. We even opened the windows so all our neighbors can see me prancing about like an idiot. :)

I thought, "Surely someone has done some kind of Song-A-Day playlist that I could just tune into everyday," but in my 1.3 minutes of googling, I couldn't find one. If you know of a good one, let me know, but until then, I thought I'd provide one for all of you, courtesy of my "Happy Peppy People" Pandora station.

Come on, dance! You'll feel so good afterward! Surely you have three minutes!

What Gus Hates

Gus is afraid of the vacuum cleaner. And the food processor. And the copy machine. And his helicopter toy. Basically, anything that makes a mechanical whirring noise.

He hates the vacuum so much that he cries when I open the closet where it lives. He cries for the 15 minutes I am using it (I vacuum the rug and two sofas in my living room; everything else I just mop or wash in the washing machine. I wear him in the ring sling the whole time because he is completely hysterical.) He cries as I put it away, and for 20 minutes after it's all over.

Let me tell you, this does not encourage me to keep my rug clean.

Let's make a chart, shall we?

Ah, that Thing You Can't Reach. So tantalizing.

We tried petting the vacuum cleaner, and playing with the pieces, and making funny noises. He just wouldn't budge.

At least he likes the dust mop.

Love,

Katie

Lenten fast

I've decided to give up sugar this year for Lent. Well, that's not exactly how it went. It went something like this:

"What should I give up for Lent?"

Sugar. Duh.

"What else could I give up for Lent? What could be a real sacrifice that would bring me closer to God and make me a better person? Television? Facebook? Ironing?"

...

"So...Sugar, huh?"

Yup.

"Dammit."

I've given up "desserts" before - a nebulous description that pretty much meant I could have candy or treats during the day, but not as the finisher to a meal. (I wasn't trying to give myself a loophole, but to break a very specific habit I developed in the dining hall of always expecting something sweet to finish a meal.) But "sugar" can be nebulous as well, and I want to be smart about it, so here are my personal (not prescriptive) guidelines:

1. No obviously sugary things (cake, ice cream, etc.). Duh.
2. No artificial sweeteners (excepting diet soda - yes, I know, aspartame will kill me blah blah)
3. No "fake-out" desserts where they just replace the sugar with banana and sweet potato. These will just make me want real brownies more, both during the fast and after it's over.
4. Honey and Date Syrup can be used sparingly (to sweeten coffee, etc.) but no baklava, etc. (see #1) Anything I cook that I usually add sugar to (cornbread, spaghetti sauce, etc) must be cooked with only half the usual amount, if I can't eliminate it entirely (optimal).
5. Sugar is in everything, and I don't have the time or inclination to make everything from scratch. If I am shopping for bread and there is one bread with sugar and one without, I must choose the one without. Even if it costs more. If there are no options without sugar, I can choose to buy it or do without.
6. When I am a guest, non-sugary foods pass without close examination of packaging. Desserts are still off-limits, though.
7. My mind is already reeling with all the "allowed" sweet things - pitted dates dipped in unsweetened chocolate, for example. I can only have one of these treats a day. Even though they're technically legal, eating seven of them will not help curb my sugar addiction.

I'm posting a few days early, so hopefully my loyal readership can help me point out any additional loopholes in the rules. I don't like to get legalistic about it, but I like to figure out the loopholes in advance so that I can make decisions based on what I actually think is right, not what I feel like doing at the time. I know myself, and myself won't last a day without trying to bend the rules a little.

Jonny is being really nice and volunteered not to eat any sugar in front of me for the whole season. I'm helping him with his fast a little too, in return. I'm not sure I could do it if he chowed down on ice cream every night!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some sugar cookies to frost...

Love,

Katie

Soundtrack to 2012

A little late, but here we go:*

1. Haven't Met You Yet - Michael Buble
2. A Thousand Years - Christina Perri
3. I Won't Give Up - Jason Mraz
4. Raisins - Barenaked Ladies
5. Man in the Mirror - Michael Jackson
6. Somebody that I Used to Know - Gotye
7. I Need Thee Every Hour - Jars of Clay (originally by Annie S. Hawks and Robert Lowry)
8. Call Me Maybe - Carly Rae Jepsen
9. Many the Miles - Sara Bareilles
10. Gangnam Style - Psy
11. Everybody Came - Ambrosia Parsley
12. Hold Me Now - Jennifer Knapp
13. Les Miserables** 
14. Merry Go 'Round - Kacey Musgraves
15. Carry On - Fun.
16. I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day - Johnny Marks and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
17. Home - Phillip Phillips

*Disclaimer: Not all of these songs are new. Not all of these songs are Good. Some of them spoke to my soul at certain times. Others...well, for the rest of my life when I hear "Call Me Maybe" I will think of the summer of 2012 - for better or for worse, that's just how it is.

**Yes. The whole thing. It was stuck in my head for two weeks after we saw it at the Fox...and THEN the commercials started playing on television and it started all over again.

Unseasonably Warm

We have bizarro weather today - 65 degrees and cloudy, at the end of January. I think my subconscious is confused. It knows what to do with a gorgeous day in the middle of winter, when it is warm and sunny and feels like spring, because we have those occasionally. Those days make you drop everything and rejoice in the glorious gift of warmth and sunshine in the middle of the winter wasteland. You go to the park, you have spontaneous parties, you barbecue. 

But today is warm but gloomy. The windows are open and the fresh air smells like spring, but the landscape still looks like something out of an Edgar Allen Poe story. So many levels of dissonance just freaks me out, I guess. So I have a bizarro mood to match the weather.

Manifestations of said mood:

1. I'm writing a blog post. 

2. When I did laundry, I folded the shirts in a different way. (We housewives have to live dangerously.)

3. I had half a can of smoked oysters on crackers for lunch. And actually enjoyed them. (I haven't eaten oysters since high school. Also, the cats went totally nuts over the smell.)

I keep oscillating between fervent but conflicting desires.

Do I have some kind of grand adventure or outing, or do I stay at home and do the laundry and enjoy the peace?

Do I make dinner or bake cookies? And if I bake cookies, who will eat them?

Do I invite everyone I know over for cookie-eating, or do I just want one grown-up to keep me company (forget the cookies), because a crowd might be just too much stimulation. Or would it? And even if I do try to secure either of these options, will I actually be able to? Will failure to secure company just make me feel even more unsteady?

Do I put on makeup and go to the mall, or change back into my pajamas and lie on the floor as much as possible?*

I feel as if I should do something out of the ordinary, because the weather is doing so. But unseasonably warm days make me want to do different things than cloudy days, and they so very rarely coincide. 

Sounds like the baby has woken up, and the dryer has stopped, too. I guess if there are any adventures in store for me this afternoon, they will have to wait. :)

Love, 

Katie

*Have you ever gotten much better service in a mall, especially in a makeup or beauty store, if you are wearing makeup? I think the Sephora ladies peg me when I walk in as a non-buyer and a free sample grubber, and intentionally ignore me. But if I'm going to a store that sells makeup and repeatedly asks you if you'd like to try a product, isn't it BETTER if I'm not wearing any to start?